BACK FROM SOMEWHERE

I was in Rome the other day. I sat in a pavement cafe just outside the Vatican wall and enjoyed pleasant lunch with Mrs Backroads, Snicket and Boo. At the next table was a comedy punk couple. Old enough to know better. He was a bit Billie Joe from Green Day (who is 38 for God's sake), she was a bit Minnie Mouse. Hugely made up, kinda cute, alluring abdomen.

Three days later I'm in London going to a meeting. Deep under the pavement at Bank Station, I walk past Minnie from the Vatican restaurant. She sees me. I see her. We walk on. What are the chances of that?

(NOTHING SOUNDS AS GOOD AS) I REMEMBER THAT

Down with a horrible cold. Plus I've gone deaf again in my right ear meaning I've gotta go and see the specialist again today. Scary really. I've gone almost completely deaf once in my left ear and three times in my right over the last couple of years. If it happens in both ears at the same time, I'm knackered. Already everything is beginning to sound dull, especially all the current press clamour regarding the re-emergence of Radiohead which sounds incredibly dull.

Stuff I'm excited about.

DON'T TRY TO STOP IT, DON'T TRY TO STOP IT!

Yes our Roman holiday was great thanks. We ate ice cream, saw the Colosseum, ate more ice cream, threw coins in the Trevi fountain, etc, etc. We love Italy and over the course of three holidays have gradually worked our way south from the lakes of the north, through Tuscany to the Rome area. We'll finish the rest sometime before death I imagine.

This is all despite the fact that the Italians are the rudest people on earth. Even in Rome, where you can easily feel like an extra in Nuns On The Run, their manners are spectacularly shitty.

As we queued politely to pay our excess baggage toll at the Ryanair desk at Ciampino this morning a priest took it upon himself to jump right to the front of the line and start blabbering about some great injustice. After I'd pointed out that erm, there's a queue pal, he took it upon himself to declare that he was here before me, to the shock and awe of the four patient limey queuers in front of me. I suggested in no uncertain terms that he was rather late for confession and perhaps he should try fucking off to it now, and taking a long deep look into his mortal soul whilst he was at it.

Oh leave me alone. It's just a job.