TRACTOR RAPE CHAIN

I'll often pass a few idle moments coming up with song titles for the once great, now extinct, Guided By Voices. They clearly don't need them any longer and, for that matter, didn't need my help coming up with them in the first place. Nevertheless, it's as addictive as Sudoku. True, it's hard to beat things like Christian Animation Torch Carriers, Jellyfish Reflector and Sunfish Holy Breakfast, but still worth a go.

There's even an online GBV song title generator so you can have a go yourself.

Alternatively, just pick up the latest catalogue from Lakeland. It's full of strong contenders for Bob Pollard's canon:


Hands Free Universal Pan Strainer
Heat Diffuser
Ten Fat Trappers
Swan Neck Turner
Electric Knife Wizard
Mermaid Hard Anodised Flan Tins, and my personal favourite,
Nut Chopper