knowledge of beauty

Well that's never happened to me before. I've just driven to Birmingham ahead of an all-dayer tomorrow. By 'all-dayer' I mean a Promotion Assessment Board I'm afraid, not a Dexedrine fueled Twisted Wheel style, clap your hands under your legs, Northern Soul extravaganza. Anyway, I'm in the Midlands, home of Slade, Led Zep, Duran Duran and, erm, Bentley Rhythm Ace, not Wigan. Mind you, I was in Wigan the other day for an another 'all-dayer'. Well it was a hotel near Haydock Park actually and a conference on, amongst other riveting topics, risk management. Yes. I know.

Tell you what. I'll start again.

Well that's never happened to me before. I checked into my hotel, the Crowne Hilton Plaza Express near the NEC, went up to my room, opened the door, switched on the light and discovered a woman asleep in bed, tomorrow's clothes laid out like soldiers on the sofa.

She's startled... and I'm embarrassed. I mumble apologies and shimmy backwards out of the room and trot back down to Reception to complain. Seems the hotel's booking software had gone phut earlier in the day and they'd had to do some manual check-ins and then completely lost track of who they'd put where by the time the booking system got up and running again.

Well. Here I am in my upgrade room, drinking free wine and looking forward to telling a lady I don't know that I barely recognize her with her clothes on when I see her at breakfast.

Now, where are those Pringles?