PRETTY GREEN

We sit drunkenly poised on the brink of another tantalising but ultimately dispiriting World Cup campaign.   Nevertheless, the weather is hot and sticky and full of promise.  ASDA's got a job lot of chairs decked out in the flag of St George and larger ladies walk past all thick nippled in unwise tops.   I can't get a Super Soaker of sufficient industry to drench the boy, so I settle for a flat strip of plastic which you attach to your hosepipe (bans permitting) and drape across your lawn like a slide.   On Radio 4 they're debating the art and beauty of the quintessential English rock and roll lyric, which sparks excitement in the boys.