in the village there's a dozen things i wanna say to you

I have a glowing orange pretzel on my dashboard which flashes annoyingly. Apparently, according to the book, I've got an engine management fault. OK then, I'll get right on with fixing that. Where's me spanner?

What is an engine management fault? As far as I can tell it's anything from the ashtrays being too full of chewing gum wrappers to a broken axle. I'm pleased they put such a helpful warning light on the dash. As errors messages go, it's right up there with Bill Gates' finest.

So, I can't get anyone to look at it until Friday. Between now and then I have approximately 480 miles to drive. Shall I? Or do you think that the doctor will give me a sicknote for an Engine Management Fault?