JUST ADD WATER

It's entirely possible to have a day trip to France, even if you live oop North. For best results...

Leave at 4.45am. Aim south.

M1/Wave at non-existent workmen whilst doing mind-numbing 40mph/M25/M20/Dover/Ferry/Calais/Collect Wine/Eat Omelette/Drink beer/Go on dodgems/Ferry/Dover/Battle of Britain Memorial/Picnic/Drop bottle of Martini out of car/M20/M25/M1/Wave at non-existent workmen whilst doing mind-numbing 40mph.

Home at 10.30pm with 286 bottles of wine.