HE’S GOT THE WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS

Get your mitts on Google Earth, it’s great. Using satellite photographs, it lets you zoom in on any place on earth. One bloke in Italy even spotted a Roman Villa in his back yard (mind you, he does own a large hotel complex in, erm, Rome).

Now not all places are photographed in tip top quality, in fact most of England seems to be covered in a sort of green soup when you get up close. I expect that the UK’s satellite came second hand from eBay and still uses an old Box Brownie, the film from which has to be collected by Richard Branson when he zips by in his space jet and dropped off at Boots for developing. In fact, when you try to zoom in close on, say, Fleetwood it has one of those stickers saying ‘Sorry but we think you must have had your thumb over the lens our kid… it can’t be this bad’.

However, you can see cars on the street in London, people in the pool at the hotel we stayed at in Tenerife, and I think I even saw Lord Lucan sitting in front of a pc somewhere in Norfolk.

Kept me gripped for, oooh, minutes before I went to Add/Remove Programs.