SIT DOWN

Staying away from home when working can be a bit miserable, especially when you’re on your own in hotels every night. Luckily, I’m not in that situation too much, but recently I found myself in a strange town.

Though I’ve only been here for three weeks now I was stuck for something to do after dinner when I suddenly decided go to the cinema I’d spotted about 300 yards up the road from the hotel. I grabbed my coat and set off, spotting that a screening of Kinky Boots had started ten minutes earlier. Confident that the first ten minutes or so is normally full of adverts and trailers I confidently bought my ticket and a large bucket of Diet Coke and strolled into the auditorium.

Trouble was, the lights had long gone down and I couldn’t see much more than a vague sea of faces in a very busy cinema . I shuffled up the shallow steps looking for a seat when I spotted, with some relief, a completely empty row. I sidled gingerly along sideways aiming for a seat somewhere in the middle of the row before facing front and sitting down.

Unfortunately, the entire row of seats had been removed for repair, a fact clear to everyone else in the audience who’s eyes had long since adjusted to the dark. So they enjoyed the sight of me edging bizarrely and needlessly along in a wide open space and then turning and landing hard on the floor, popping the lid of my Cola bucket and drenching myself with sticky goop.

It got a laugh though, which is more than can be said for Kinky Boots.