gotta lotta bottle

I remember mentioning this in someone’s comments box once, but when I was at school, the father of one of the lads in my class bought a second-hand electric milk-float. You’d have though this was a fairly sensible thing to do if his Dad was a milkman.

His Dad was a joiner.

He bought the milk-float to convert into a mobile home. I used to walk past this work in progress on my way to and from school and, as you can imagine, we all took a great interest in the conversion project, cheerily supporting the man and his son in their quest to be different (at least that’s how I remember it). Sadly, the end result looked like something the Slaggers from Scrapheap Challenge would reject. Thankfully, so as not to draw any unwarranted attention to it they covered it in woodchip wallpaper and, using normal household emulsion, painted it bright orange.

We all knew that the day would come when they would want to go on holiday.

With great fanfare, the whole family including, and this is true, two guinea pigs, set off for two weeks in the Lake District, a distance of fifty miles or so. Sadly they never got that far. In fact it took them three days to get as far as Garstang (Home of the World’s Biggest Onion, fact fans) where the milk float’s battery eventually gave out.

There they stayed for the remainder of their holiday, in a lay-by off the A6, before being towed home… by another milk float.