KELLY WATCH THE STARS

Biggest fireworks display Yorkshire's ever seen, they said. Plugged it on national TV, they did. People came from near and far, they did. It was crap. That was last month.

However, the council got a chance to redeem itself with some proper nice pyromania last night as they celebrated the 400th anniversary of Guy Nelson getting shot in the eye at Waterloo or something. It was better. Lots.

I love outdoor exhibitionists don't you? All that flashing and banging going on... very little dogging though sadly, on account of the loud noises. Scares'em.