backroads and the half-baked plot

Well I broke into an early lead, soon to be overtaken by Alley. Now Mrs B is well out in front and I don’t think I’ll ever get back in the running.

I’m talking, of course, about the arrival of three copies of the latest Harry Potter, courtesy of Amazon, on Saturday morning. It’s not been this quiet around Backroads Manor since Snicket superglued his lips to Alley’s Gameboy.

Of course the main challenge is for the one furthest ahead in the book not to give away key plotlines as the others seek to catch up. Typically, the one in the lead asks the others where they’re up to. The one in second place tends to answer by saying something like “just passed the bit where Harry gets his wand polished by Ginny Weasley whilst she chomps on his exploding bon-bons” followed by squeals of protest from the one in last place (usually me) shouting ‘stop spoiling it’.

If things weren’t hard enough, every time you switch on the radio they’re always interviewing some jumped up little witch who’s won a competition to meet J K Rowling. These kids have no concept of the idea of spoilers and are forever blabbing about twists and turns in the plot. The little Veruca Salt they had on Five Live this morning gaily told listeners how great JK Rowling had been about ensuring none of the children at the book launch overheard any snippets about the… “MAJOR PLOT TWIST THEN REVEALED BY IMBECILE CHILD ON NATIONAL RADIO”. Great.

I’m staying in. No radio, no TV, no interweb. Until I grow up.